What was the call?

"It should have been a goal," says ESPN Analysts. "I'm a disgrace, says that wannabe analyst Alexi Lalas.
"The referee blew the call!" says another critic.
Sports Illustrated Peter King calls me "incompetent!"
Other media reports say I blew the game for the U.S.

Millions of people who were staring at TVs and the web around the world are still asking and want to know, What was the call?" I made when Maurice Edu kicked the ball into the net after receiving a pass from Landon Donovan on a free kick in the 86th minute of the game.

I will answer that, but first I want to say the game was not decided by me. I am a soccer referee responsible for enforcing the laws of the game. I do not decide which team wins or loses. That's not what I do, and we referees do not declare who's victorious.

I am experienced and professional. But I am also human and imperfect. When the U.S. players were asking me at the end of the game, "What did you call!" My eyes were focused on the ground. I was walking backward and keeping them at a distance. I wanted to tell them what the call was, but per our guidelines and instructions with FIFA, we cannot speak about the game after it is over. We cannot talk to reporters,and it's strongly recommended that we do not speak to players and move on. I was not being rude or disrespectful. I was just abiding by the rules that were bestowed upon me.

When Landon Donovan kicked the ball on a free kick and it was crossing into a crowd of men with blue and white jerseys. I could have sworn, I saw men in the blue jerseys and white jerseys grabbing, hugging and pulling on each other, I decided to hold the whistle, which means not to blow it, and play the advantage which means recognize you saw something, but let the play-play out.

So when Edu kicked the ball into the net, I blew the whistle signaling a foul and a direct kick. It wasn't offsides or even close to that. The call was holding, I looked straight into the eyes of Michael Bradley and saw him being held, but for that split second, I thought Bradley was holding the Slovenia defender. "I screwed up!" The Slovenia player was holding Bradley. I could have taken a moment and acknowledged it was an inadvertent whistle blown and then call a drop ball. This is when I would identify one player from each team to come to a spot on the field where play was stopped and drop the ball and play commences. But that may have been a real cop out and made matters worse, because I'm now acknowledging I made a huge mistake and that definitely would not have gone over well with FIFA. So I just called a free kick for Slovenia to bring the ball an get us to start the play quickly.

I feel horrible, but again the game was not lost because of me. If the U.S. would have played in the first half as well as they played in the second half, the U.S. wouldn't have had to allow a so-called controversial call affect the outcome of the game. "I didn't lose this game for the U.S."

As for me, what happens next? I've got an unexpected early trip back home. Our supervisor says I apparently cracked under pressure, lost control of the game and appeared to have been distracted and not focused. I called a hand ball against U.S. striker Findley when the ball struck his face and neck, but he didn't deliberately use his hand to come in contact with the ball. I gave it to him for unsporting behavior because I thought he deliberately used his hand. My supervisor of assessors was wondering why I gave Findley a yellow card. What also threw me off about that call is that Findley's arm was in an unnatural position, so that's why I called handling.

Being sent home from the World Cup is an awful feeling. I've been sent home and told my services are no longer needed. I now have increased security as a precaution with me provided by FIFA and I let my peers down. Oh well, at least I can say my game will live in history for infamy.

"ZZZZZZZZ" "ZZZZZZZZZZ" Ding Dong! "Honey," my wife yells "can you get the doorbell please?" "Someone's at the door!"